Tete-a-Tete and a Little Bit of Caffeine

I was having this chit-chat with some of my colleagues from the JGSHI Management Training Program over some cups of coffee on a Monday night at Timog when I got some real emotional knock-off. I always am pretending that erethings cool with my life as of this particular moment but it was one of those times when that certain tinge of depression ebbs at the surface and then voila! There goes those spilling water.

I always consider myself tough. Yes, just downright tough. I keep my emotions at a certain level -- disappointments never show mainly because I ignore the feeling that I am disappointed; showing emotions is a sign of weakness, so to speak.

But where is that toughness now? Reality keeps pouring in and it is drowning me ever since that conversation took place. I keep on backsliding, feeling the plummeting emotions that cast me into some dark oblivion. My job's not exactly my turf. I freakin miss home. I am placid with my relationships. And the rain inside is soon raging into a storm.

But then again, I am not that sad. I am not happy either.

Read More

The Conspiracy of Christmas

Well, yes. I need to be nice. Or else, I would not be receiving any gift from St. Niclaus (pardon me if the spelling is wrong) or from anybody else for that matter.

Yeah, yeah! That's the major bull -- er, BS that I have heard in my whole life. I don't want to be nice! I have always been and will always be the antagonistic moron that I am. I don't want to be nice for the sake of being nice!

There is always this nagging feeling that I have everytime Christmas is around the corner. People are extra sweet to the point that it is sickening already. I mean, COME ON! Such deviance! If I know, people give because they want also to receive... or maybe I am just downright pathetic that I should have taken the Grinch's role.

Hmm, look around! People seem to be scurrying around buying presents and everyone's goin to their respective provinces while I chose to be stuck here.. some so-so miles away from home. Call me a loser but I really did not plan to go back to Bacolod for this Yuletide (ppffttt) season. I want to go home by the time I already miss the laid-back provincial atmosphere... Meanwhile, I still would be inhaling the fumes of this friggin city...

Such a sour-graper... *damn*

Read More

Narcissism

Ernalou T. Amechachurra, or otherwise known as "balot" (you'll more likely to prefer this nick than the real name, won't you?) is a management trainee at the John Gokongwei Summit Holdings, Inc. She is 21 years old, lived 20 years and 6 months of her life at Negros Occidental and is a graduate of Mass Communications and Marketing at the University of St. La Salle Bacolod.

Read More