I was having this chit-chat with some of my colleagues from the JGSHI Management Training Program over some cups of coffee on a Monday night at Timog when I got some real emotional knock-off. I always am pretending that erethings cool with my life as of this particular moment but it was one of those times when that certain tinge of depression ebbs at the surface and then voila! There goes those spilling water.
I always consider myself tough. Yes, just downright tough. I keep my emotions at a certain level -- disappointments never show mainly because I ignore the feeling that I am disappointed; showing emotions is a sign of weakness, so to speak.
But where is that toughness now? Reality keeps pouring in and it is drowning me ever since that conversation took place. I keep on backsliding, feeling the plummeting emotions that cast me into some dark oblivion. My job's not exactly my turf. I freakin miss home. I am placid with my relationships. And the rain inside is soon raging into a storm.
But then again, I am not that sad. I am not happy either.
