“You should continue writing.”
I have heard this from unexpected people who I
did not know spend some time with my blog. Funny how these encouragements come
from random contacts and never from people who supposedly knew everything about
you.
SUPPOSEDLY.
I have been undergoing some
invalidation and vindication phases for some time now. Invalidation because I
began to question myself, what I was worth, who I really was, what I want in my
life, who I fight for. All the things that I believed in literally is
collapsing in front of my eyes. I am on a cliffhanger. Every day, friends and
family try to pull me me up. There were times when I felt like I was a zombie –
a walking dead. And those were the days that people just carried me,
unexpectedly. I know then God indeed sends His angels.
Despite the fact that my world is
going totally berserk, everyone around me is helping build the broken legos of my existence. I continuously
pray. But my prayers are different now. My prayers are of surrender. Of
yielding. Of letting Him and not taking control of things anymore because maybe
what I wanted was not really the best for me.
A friend told me that God will
give you the desires of your heart. But when it is not the best for you,
eventually, He will be the one to change it. I cannot fathom His plans for me.
Sometimes I wish I would have a time machine so that I could have those moments
again when I could blurt out, “Ah, that’s why!” But in the meantime, He just
sends rescuers. Different rescuers every single day. Lovely people who quite
surprisingly, protect and care for me – UNEXPECTEDLY. And I will be forever
grateful to all of them.
xx,
Corporate Junkie
