Are you an island or are you an investor?

In our world today, people are afraid to make friends. We are afraid to trust, to take risks. We put up walls around us and it is hard to get through. It could be for the fear of getting hurt or judged, or we genuinely believe that we can stand alone on our own, be an island.

Being an island is safe. You do not attend to other people's feelings or thoughts. You can just do anything you want and not care. You just attend to your territory. Some people are happier this way - to be left in a me, myself and I state.

But some, if not most, people need relationships. And for relationships such as friendships to flourish, we need to invest. Stephen Covey once mentioned in his book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, about the emotional bank account. We have to make a deposit all the time. How? By being courteous, kind, honest. By honoring commitments. Through this, we build a reserve for our relationships.

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Day 13: HappIER At Work

I am happier at work. I WAS happy at work but now, I am much, much happier. I will tell you why – 

All this time, I have had this mantra which I came across a favourite book but it’s only now that I am actually, trying to live it -- 

“Imagine life is a game in which you are juggling five balls. The balls are called work, family, health, friends, and integrity. And you're keeping all of them in the air. But one day you finally come to understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. The other four balls...are made of glass. If you drop one of these, it will be irrevocably scuffed, nicked, perhaps even shattered.”

― James Patterson, Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas

I am (hopefully, was) Corporate Junkie for no reason. I loved my work. I was addicted to it. When I started working at 20, I was relentless.  There was no other motivation except my own. It was not because of money or a promotion. It was because I had a dream when I took up my degree in Marketing and Mass Communications – someday, I will be a great marketing person.

And so live that dream, I did. 

I stayed in the office for more than ten hours without overtime pay. I worked on weekends not because the bosses asked me to nor to kiss ass but because I wanted to finish so many things. I brought work home, I skipped meals, I obsessed on making my brands bigger. I dreamt of my brands, in giant-sized versions of themselves hounding me because they were not market leaders. My whole entity was 90% my career.

Perhaps this was the reason why I was not able to establish real or probably, deep personal relationship with anyone. I have this incessant need to be able to control the things around me. Humans scared me. They are unpredictable, sometimes volatile. They hurt you or backbite you or say nasty things about you no matter how you please them. My Excel and PowerPoint files do not disappoint me. They render the results that I want to see without any complaints. They do not find faults, they just execute. We had a very close relationship, me and my work files.

At some point though, I had to stop my work obsession. The tipping point, maybe, was when my husband blurted to me in exasperation (or irritation) that  I do not text, I do not reply, I just simply zone out when I am at work.  He was so frustrated about it. There was also a time when my office friends hesitated to invite me to after-office sessions because all I talk about is work! Of course, I shrugged it off at first. How petty can this be!

Later did I realize that it was a glass ball reaching its breaking point. I learned my lesson in a hard way.

I have changed somehow (or at least, so I think). I have come to terms with myself and the idea that I can actually do my job without sacrificing other things in life – like friends, companionship, my health. Social media helped a lot and of course, all these messaging apps which connect people no matter where they are. I was just lucky that I have some REAL friends and a very understanding family who actually understand my quirks this whole time. 

I have resolved my issues. I tell myself that I have already reached the pinnacle of that college dream. Based on my own standards, of course. During my time, all the brands I handled were market leaders. Call it luck or whatever you want. I do not claim the glory, please pardon me if that is how this sounds like. All I am saying is this -- I was in love with my brands. I wanted to be great at what I do. It has already been given to me for the past nine years of handling wonderful brands from C2 to PowerShot to IXUS to VIXIA. I have done my share. I have lived my dream.

Now, I appreciate so much what is on my plate. What I do now is wonderful. Doing projects that help people, promoting a brand that has long established its name in the crevices of this world. More than that, it helped me let go and live. To go home to my family. To take care of my dog, to talk to my husband, to do other things than just obsessing on numbers. To actually enjoy lunch time with my team mates and have the time to goof around. 

I could not be more grateful. I keep on thanking God for bringing me to where I am now when at first, I was resistant to the change He was bringing into my life. I never thought I could live not being a marketer. But I am now. And I am enjoying it.

xx,

Corporate Junkie

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Plasticity

Today, I free myself from you and all the bad things you represented in my life.

Because... 

...today, as I moved around the chaos, I am looking forward to a new beginning.

To real friendships. To real relationships.

I bid you farewell. 

xx, 

Corporate Junkie

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Light Bulb

"...If you expect people to do things your way, you're going to have to give some hints as to what that way is." -Sara Gruen, Water for Elephants

I had a light bulb moment several months ago when a mentor told me about this one very important thing about relationships, may they be on a personal or professional reference -- SETTING EXPECTATIONS is the first step to harmony.

A lot of us always assume that everyone around us behaves or thinks the way we do. 

I did. 

I have always thought that I was a very transparent person and that my actions or few words could have encapsulated the things that I would have wanted to express, carried out or what-not. I almost always relied on a basic assumption that people operate on the same common sense and should therefore, act in one general direction. 

I was wrong. 

Common sense may not be common after all. One's judgment on things may be entirely different from another and this could stem from a lot of factors like upbringing, their environment, among others.

For example, I had this discussion with a friend on mobile phones and technology. For him, it was common sense that you have to revert every missed call you had because it is equally important and urgent. For me, however, I believed that IF it was important and urgent and I missed it, it is common sense to send an SMS about its gravity. He could be right and I could be wrong.

This little eureka moment of setting expectations actually did wonders to my interface with people. Spoken words, ergo, communicating, indeed did wonders. First, it sets a clear pace and environment for everyone; second, it eliminates the cause of misunderstanding, false assumptions and disappointments as well. 

All is well when it begins well.

xx,

Corporate Junkie

This post is for my InstaCC  021113 challenge -- light bulb. Add me on Instagram -- Username: Corporate Junkie

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Patterns

Yesterday, I decided to make a Chinese New Year Resolution -- to keep up with my InstaCC challenge and simultaneously, write about the topics which it asks me to take photos of.  InstaCC is an Instagram-linked app which provides everyday photo challenge for a year.

So of course, I am failing. This entry is actually for the photo challenge yesterday. Geez, I really have to work on my dedication for these everyday thingamajigs.

So... InstaCC February 10 challenge is about Patterns.

According to my handy Webster, pattern is described as a decorative arrangement; a model to be copied; instruction to be followed to make something; a regular way of acting or doing; or a predictable route, movement, etc.

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On Writing: Gratitude

“Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

I just posted in my Facebook account that I am having a severe mental block. Although I have promised myself to populate this site with one blog a day (they say this is the most effective way of keeping your readers), I just can't seem to do it. Lack of topics, perhaps. Lack of interest? Lack of sparkle? 

After the delirious pacing of my mind on the topics that I can discuss, I asked myself, what is the most significant thing that happened to me today? 

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The Great Love

I was watching Sex and the City last night and in one episode and it said, "You can only have two loves in your life". In a parallel universe, I also encountered this one good quote about your great love: "The first one is the you will love most, second is the one who loves you most and the third, well he just happened to be and the right place and at the right time". What do you think? Which one is possibly true?

I have put a minimum qualification in what I call a relationship for me. In your case, it may vary.

A real relationship has to have a one year, at the very least, withholding period. This means that anything lower than that may have been infatuation, rebound, lust or stupidity.

I do not know if you agree with me but I think it takes time to really say that you love a person. It is cultivated through time. Well anyway...

I have had 3 "relationships" to-date. First one took 3 years, 2nd one, 1 and 6 months and the latest, 2 years and counting. With this, which premise do I believe in? If I was only allowed two great loves in my lifetime, I would have to ditch one relationship. And if it is on the 3 great loves, I am not sure if the ranking follows.

They said that a great love is the one that will shake you to the core. It is earth-shattering and will change your life. If this is the case, my psycho first ex-boyfriend has certainly changed my life. Changed my life to the worst, looking back five years from now and changed it totally for the better because at some point, that relationship was the reason why I am where I am right now. So can you consider him one of my great loves?

The second one patched me up. Put band-aid in all the areas where I was jaded. Unfortunately, I think I shattered his life more than he shattered mine.

The current one... it is not earth-shattering. It is more like a tree rooted to the core. This is where for the first time, there is security and a no-nonsense kind of love. It is like a blanket that snuggles me in a cold night. There are no love letters, no candle-lit dinners. It might not be fireworks but a burning ember that silently warms my life.... and my heart.

Does this love close my destiny? Or at least, my destiny for the second greatest love?

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