I am Corporate Junkie.: March 2012

Mar 28, 2012

Ohana

They say you cannot choose your family. But if I could have had, I would still choose ours. <3 -ETAmechachurra, 032912

The inventors of our weird names, ladies and gentlemen, Ernesto and Lucy!

Quatro Marias. Ela, Kristine, Lucerne, Ernalou. Haha. Weird names :)

Home is where your heart is. And for all my existence, my heart resides with these people.

Where I am now is really a result of my parents' upbringing and the family's relationship with one another. Oh yes, we were not always that happy. In fact we quarrel a lot. So what gives?

First, there is a deeper sense of love that brings us all together -- and this is my mom's biggest heart. The heart of forgiveness and patience for everyone in the family. The heart of sacrifice and just pure unconditional love. A heart that pushes her to prepare meals after a hard days' work to serve on the table at the end of the day and make everyone come together for dinner. A heart that will never, ever give you up and never expecting anything in return. Sure, she nags. But you gotta give that to her for all the things she is putting up with, taking care of one stubborn man and four bickering daughters.

And my father, where do I even start... The discipline, PR skills and the struggle for excellence originated from him. I used to remember him and me, burning the candles for my Mathematics and Spelling Quiz Bees during the good 'ol elementary days. I remember writing to my dad before, telling him to show more emotions and care and love for everyone. As most dads I presume, he was this stiff person who just provided financially and prepared us intellectually. He was never really the emotional type. But that was so many years ago. Today, my Papa is a source of inspiration, a confidant and my drinking buddy! :)

Which brings me finally to my sisters. We may not be like each other in all aspects. Lucerne and I may like girly shoes while Tin and Ela paint the town red with their sneakers. How introvert Ela can be is actually an exact contradiction of me. While Tin loves the simplicity of Bacolod life, I dwell and lavish in the demands of this corporate jungle. How Ela can be so quiet opposes Lucerne's hyperactive mode.

But we all looovvveee Japanese anime. We have our pillows we sniff when we go to bed. Gross pillows same as our ages. We love donuts. We loved school. Ela and I share the passion for books and writing. Tin and Lucerne love to eat. I think we all love singing.

So this is my family. My blood line. I may soon lose my kick-ass family name, Amechachurra, but I will never lose my home, my family. Because it will always be here. Somewhere probably at the left part of my aorta :)

xx,

Corporate Junkie

Insomniac On the Loose

“Finally, from so little sleeping and so much reading, his brain dried up and he went completely out of his mind.” - Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra, Don Quixote

I rarely sleep before midnight.

Maybe it is the enormous load of caffeine I take in during the day. Or maybe it is because of the books that are waiting to be read, or blogs waiting to be typed or games waiting to be played. But seriously, I feel that there are a lot of things to do rather than have a shuteye.

Sometimes, I try to lie on my bed at ten in the evening and remind myself that my body needs its eight hours of sleep to recuperate from all the stress that I have undergone through the day. And then, I watch the ceiling for an hour, try to count some sheep, or cats or what-nots. After a very unsuccessful trial, I turn on the lights and do something else. So much for that eight-hour sleep regimen.

Abysmal Distortions, A Repost

I cringe at the sounds of the clicking keyboard

at the doze of the night that stands still

A lonely desolate heart in the midst of an abyss

that keeps on pulling me to the darkness.

The heart cries and bleeds

for the loss of things that were never there

Hallucinations that fed the deception

False promises that chokes til death.

And at the brink of the reality that came too fast

Everything was lost and gone all the same

Of the sham and uncertainties that kept on lingering

the only thing that was left was a broken soul.

2006 March 30

What I Want to Say When Words Can't Still Compose My Emotions

My heart is full of emotions. Things I wanna say. Things I rather keep to myself. And then I stumbled on this -- and the rawness of the feelings is something that I just want to share to you. Because it has cut through me like a sharp knife. Someday I wish I could capture these feelings in a literature like this. Enjoy!

xx,

Corporate Junkie

“It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain!I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.”

Written by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

"All I need at the moment is for you to embrace me, a gesture as old as humanity itself, and which means far more than the meeting of two bodies. An embrace means: I don't feel threatened by you; I'm not afraid to be this close; I can relax, feel at home, feel protected and in the presence of someone who understands me. It is said that each time we embrace someone warmly, we gain an extra day of life. So please, embrace me now," I say." - Aleph, Paulo Coelho.

I clearly recall telling someone before -- "All I need is a hug." No words. No drama. Just a plain simple warm hug.

What an amazing feeling it is indeed. In times of jubilation, a hug will suffice. In sorrow, a hug is all you need to show that you sympathize with that person in despair. To reconcile, the best way to show your concession is a warm embrace.

Tonight, I need a hug. Nothing more, nothing less. To ease the burden of a heavy-laden day. To erase bad memories and feelings. And to feel that I am home in the presence of someone who understands me. It's just a bonus that I gain extra 24 hours of my life :)

Let's hug more, everyone!

Goodnight!

XOXO,

Corporate Junkie

Courage

"You will erase everything you had written in the book of your life up until now: restlessness, uncertainty, lies. And in the place of all this, you will write the word courage. By beginning the journey with that word and continuing faith in God, you will arrive wherever you need to arrive."

The future is uncertain. So today, I will cry if I need to cry, get mad when I need to get mad. And sleep with a hope in my heart that tomorrow is still gonna be a good day.

I think that's the most courageous that I could ever get.

xx,

Corporate Junkie

Red Balloon

I just have to share this -- amazing masterpiece! <3

Script by yours truly.

Direction by Paolo Lindaya of Grilled Cheese Studios <www.grilledcheesestudios.weebly.com>

BALOT + EDZEL Save The Date from Grilled Cheese Studios on Vimeo.

Special thanks to --

Tep Lindaya, Bopeep Arcenas & Aby Wei as the girls at the park

Vince Utzurrm as Manong Lobo :)

Paolo Correa - Assistant to the Director :)

One Step At A Time

"When in doubt, do the next right thing. It's usually something quite small." - Life's Little Detours, Regina Brett

I will never be a doormat. This is what I keep on reminding myself. I just know when to act on certain matters. Or so I thought.

I wait for the right time to act on things. Especially when it concerns people. But maybe that is where the problem stems from. On waiting.

Decision. Indecision.

"There is always a right moment to act." - Aleph, Paulo Coelho

The month of March in my Paulo Coelho Day Planner is all dedicated to decision or making decisions, for that matter. Funny because it seems to be a very apt moment for me to be lectured on these things.

I always believe in being at the right moment at the right time and somehow, this is another manifestation of it. In my life, there are decisions that I have been postponing to do. For what reason? I do not know. Maybe because of fear. Fear of regret or fear of not being able to stand by what I have decided upon; or simply because I linger in the idea that

everything works out well in the end anyway and I do not really need to rush anything.