"Shut up."
I am on my nth day of being down. I am struggling to look for my happy today. A series of trials from my personal life is coupled with some issues I have at work so yeah, it's a little gloomy on this side of the world.
While I may not be able to concoct my happy pill today, I just would like to share a technique which I think would be beneficial to my future state of happiness (and hopefully, yours too).
Yes, this is a note-to-self that I need to apply in my life, every single day.
1. When you are upset or mad, shut up.
Historically and basing this on experience, this is very, very, very hard. I am a Mass Communications graduate and I took up two classes of basic acting yet I struggle with this. I can feign happiness or disappointment but I cannot fake a mad me.
I burst. I explode. When things calm down, I withdraw. Especially if i have reached my tipping point.
This is my nature, in my personal and professional life. I tend to isolate myself from people who disappoint me. When I am pissed with a friend (or the husband for that matter), I withdraw and put up a wall until the time that I feel okay. This is wrong (yes, I know this and it is an internal struggle!) because I know that people do not operate in the way that I do. The worst thing about this is my paradigm that people around me should know what they are supposed to be doing.
A life coach actually told me that this is not a healthy thing to do. Because I just "bury" ill feelings and don't address them, there is a tendency that these issues will be resurrected and I would go through the cycle all over again.
Action Plan: I need to master handling conflict without getting upset and being emotional about it. Just to deal with it objectively, without emotions. R2D2 style. That is the only option or else, I just have to shut up again.
2. If you have nothing good to say, shut up. Just shut up. (I am not a perfect example of this, that is why this is a reminder to myself as well.)
Action Plan: Remember the real issues and deal with it -- R2D2 style.
3. If it does not concern you, shut up. It is a conscious effort, really, to be nonchalant about the things that surround me. Sometimes, the best way is to keep oneself as unattached as possible.
Action Plan: Resist the urge to be involved when not asked. Let others do the talking.
I always tell myself that the less I talk, I would probably have less enemies, and detractors, fewer people who would want to kill me in their minds or stab me behind the back. Hmm, these are some of the perks of being a wallflower. Maybe I should try and be one.
What do you think?
xx,
Corporate Junkie
