As we end this year, I would like to deliver my last edition for #FridaysFive. As I look back on the past twelve months, I could say that so far, this has been my most "steady" year ever. Yes, there were many big changes in my life but it seemed like all those changes were actually for the better.
Some time in the past, I have talked about the Attitude of Gratitude. Happy people are thankful people. There will always be difficulties in life but the main differentiating factor between a pessimist and an optimist is how they perceive the situation which they are in.
Because of the many self-help and happiness books that I read (such as The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin and Don't Sweat the Small Stuff by Richard Carlson, etcetera), I have learned to do a makeover on how I view things. Meditation helps me a lot as well as trying to avoid emotional leeches as much as possible.
So, for this year, let me round up the five things that I am ultimately grateful for:
1. I am grateful to lose the job I love.
I loved my work. I loved what I do. I loved my team and the people I worked with. I think you get the drift. Quitting my corporate life had been one of the major setbacks in my life. Or so I thought. If I wasn't shoved by my immunologist to make a hard decision of quitting work to be able to prioritize my personal (family) goals, I would have not given up being a corporate junkie. But so far, it has not been that bad as I thought it would be. Because I quit, I have more time in my hands. I was reunited with my original love - writing. Writing for this blog, writing for clients -- I didn't even expect I'd get some moolah from this but I am and I could never be more grateful.
2. I am grateful to have no fixed salary.
My first concern when I had to quit work was, of course, our household finances. I have never been financially dependent on Edzel (or anyone for that matter) and this has been a humbling and enlightening experience. Because I have no fixed income, I had to push myself. In the end, I was able to start a business and currently learning on how to invest on stocks. What's more amazing is that there seems to be a Higher Power who continues to provide us with the resources we need. Some people do not believe in Providence but here I am - I am a living proof.
3. I am grateful to be stuck at home.
During the first few weeks of being stuck at home, I felt like I was going crazy. I was used to an uber busy schedule booked with meetings, answering incessant emails from colleagues, fulfilling projects and tasks. However, as days passed by, I realized that this is the best time to fix myself. Be a healthier, better version of me. I am giving myself time to rest which is what my physicians required of me. At the same time, it slowly helps me to become a better homemaker. I have always had this paradigm that I could never be domesticated -- I am a Type A person who needs to be in the boardroom. Lately though, I have realized that I CAN BE BETTER AT THIS - at cooking, at fixing our home, at taking care of the home and the husband as wives should. I am not yet there but I am getting closer to being better every single day.
4. I am grateful for my sickness.
I have learned the value of living and of health because of it. I have appreciated the wonders of having a child a thousand times more. Because of my APAS, I have seen the world in a whole new different way. My disorder has taught me that there is nothing more important than building a family - not wealth, not a successful career, nothing can compensate for it. I may have realized it a little too late but I am working sooo hard at getting better.
5. I am grateful for my losses.
I have lost two pregnancies. I had post-partum depression on my first one and my marriage crumbled down at some point because of that. I slid into my black hole and forgot that there were other people who I needed to take care of. I poured myself over work because it seemed that it was the only area in my life which was inside my circle of control and where I could succeed. But my losses taught me that relationships (with my husband, with my family, with my friends) are the most important parts of my being. My losses had brought me and Edzel much closer than ever to each other, to our family and to God.
So you see, my difficulties could have left me broken. However, I realized that I was am a much stronger person and that whatever my situation is now, it is because of a higher purpose -- I am prioritizing the most important things in my life.
As they always say, it is all a matter of perspective and this time around, I'd rather be Happy Tigger than Depressed Eeyore.
I wish you an awesome last stretch for 2014! Cheers!
As they always say, it is all a matter of perspective and this time around, I'd rather be Happy Tigger than Depressed Eeyore.
I wish you an awesome last stretch for 2014! Cheers!
Love,
Balot x
