On Writing: The Sacrifice

Because my pain is nothing compared to yours, my Lord.

The movie, The Passion of Christ by Mel Gibson, has been released nine years ago but I have never seen it for no particular reason. Maybe because the reviews said that it was irrelevantly bloody and offensive or maybe because I haven't gotten in touch with my faith that long. Today, on a Holy Friday, I have finally watched the movie. 

I am pretty educated about Christ and His stories. As a child who grew up in a Catholic household and being an active Christian when I was in high school, I read a lot about the saints, the apostles and their martyrdom, Christ's childhood and miracles and suffering -- everything probably in between. My faith was shaken when I entered college. I began to question idolatry and celibacy and all the attacks you can think of against the Catholic Church. I became a distant believer. 

I have long been searching for my faith and right now, probably at the darkest moment of my life, I have found it again. The doctrines do not matter; the dogmas are there to guide -- everything else could be a mistake, everything else could be fallible. But these are not important. I realized that what was important was finding a faith which brought me closer to God.  What was important was that I find a congregation who will connect me again like a river that will never run dry because it is connected to the immense glory of the seas. 

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On Writing: Letting Go

“No matter how dark it is for you now, God will put the sun in the sky tomorrow, and if not tomorrow, the day after that.” – Left at the Altar, Kimberley Kennedy

It is true. Let go and let God.

I am a deep-rooted Catholic since birth and I have never been ready to give up my Catholic faith. I remember praying the rosary every 6pm with my family every day when I was in elementary school. I used to hate it – having to kneel for around 30 minutes when I could play outside. Forgive me, I was just a kid.

I was part of it all - the summer catechism, Flores de Mayo, everything. I graduated from a Catholic school during my secondary years, was part of the choir and the Lectors’ Guild. I was a very active Catholic.

Unfortunately, I slipped a mile from where my faith was after graduating in high school.

For the longest time, I have been looking for my faith. I attended Christian services and I also loved them. But nothing really touched me to the core. I prayed but I was not really serious about my obligations. I always had an alibi. I was not religious, I was spiritual.

For some extent, that was true. I still communicated with my God; perhaps more often when I was in trouble. That was the sad part. It was probably a one-way street with only Him listening to me – all the time.

About a year ago, I was introduced by one of my Christian best friends to this fusion – The Feast. It is a two-hour service with the traditional Catholic mass, then another hour of the things I liked in a Christian service -- the praises, the songs, the wisdom that Bro. Bo Sanchez and his team share with the people. And then I knew that this was my Church. This is where I want to grow my faith.

And again, as I usually behave in these commitments, I was not able to follow through.

But last Sunday, I was able to do what I have wanted to do for a long time – go back to PICC and attend the service. What Bro. Bo Sanchez said on his first spiel gave me goosebumps: You were meant to be here. God brought you here. It was surreal. Even Father Erick Santos, in his homily, seemed to talk to me – thank you for waking up and sharing this day with Christ.

Funny how I always go back to Him when I am trouble. And He always gives me an answer, in some way or another.

Be still, Balot, be still. The wonderful life I prepared for you was already written even before this started happening. Never mind the pain, it will all pass. Trust and let go. - God

And I deal with my problems one day at a time. Hour by hour. Minute by minute. Knowing that I cannot do and fight for things on my own anymore. And all I can do is let go.

xx,

Corporate Junkie

P.S. If you are interested in The Feast, you can experience it for yourself. For PICC schedule, it happens every Sunday every 8AM, 9:30 AM, 10:30 AM and 3:45PM. Check out the 25 venues where they are available -- visit www.lightfam.com for more information.

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