Day 89: The Condition of the Universe

Paulo Coelho once said, "And when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it." While I love Coelho dearly, I believe that there is a precursor to this -- the universe conspires with you in achieving what you want IF it will be for your good. 

I have gone through a roller-coaster ride my whole life. Actually, it was more like the free-fall tower rides where most of the time, you are on the way to the top or linger at the top even. But when things go bad, you fall. Problem is, this does not happen slowly; it is an exponential free-fall to the pits of darkness. 

However, as I look back now, no matter how dark that part of my life was, everything happened just the way it should be. The stars created their own perfect pattern, its beauty magnificent against that abysmal darkness. The things I thought would break me, in its full cliché, made me stronger, better. 

Your dreams will come true. How? 

First, create your dream. A dream that does not aggravate anyone -- that would not hurt anyone; a dream that obeys by the rules of the Divine and of the Universe. 

Second, believe in your dream. Believe that everything will conspire for your dream. This is faith. Breathe it.

Third, never give up. It is hard, it is not going to be easy. Be steadfast in your faith and look at the positive side of things.

These are my little thoughts on achieving your dreams, loves! How about you? How did you achieve your dreams?

xoxo,

Corporate Junkie

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Day 87: Against All Odds

“A lesson for all of us is that for every loss, there is victory, for every sadness, there is joy, and when you think you’ve lost everything, there is hope.” ―Geraldine Solon

People undergo many trials in life. In my case, I have considered myself so blessed. Most of the things came easy, God has been good. 

It came as an avalanche when I was diagnosed with a repro-immuno disorder. Having a problem creating a happy family never occured in my wildest dreams. I cried, tried to be happy, cried again, tried to be positive. Most of the time, my hope dangled on a string.

But during those times when I lose hope, I am pulled back, by family, by friends, by the husband... by Jesus.

After the shock of  knowing this ultimately weird condition of being "too compatible" with my husband, we finally decided to do the treatments. 

I already started on it last Friday. In the morning, they took 14 vials of blood from the husband and at around 2:30PM, injected the processed blood, which now only contains his white blood cells. 

I took this photo of my left arm before the procedure -- 

My doctor started me on the first LIT (lymphocyte immunotherapy). She told me to hold the husband's hand for support. I could have not gone through without it. I don't know where to start describing the pain. It was excruciating. Tolerable but extremely excruciating. 

Doctor gave me six shots. Each shot was more painful than the previous one. To explain it haphazardly, it felt like blade slicing through the skin. Thinking about going through it for four times is hell. Thinking that I am doing it for my future baby eases it all. 

I was required not to wash my arm for 48 hours. It looked like this when we went home -- 

Despite the pain, I am happy. I am happy that we are still able to find ways on how to couple our silent prayers with scientific treatment. I am happy that my immunologist is a God-centered woman who keeps on reminding us to pray. There have been times when my faith becomes so distant from me. It is by God's grace and your prayers that I will be able to forge my faith stronger and hope for the best -- the life that He has in store for me and my family. 

xx, 

Corporate Junkie

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