All this time, I have had this
mantra which I came across a favourite book but it’s only now that I am actually,
trying to live it --
“Imagine life is a game in which you are juggling five balls. The balls
are called work, family, health, friends, and integrity. And you're keeping all
of them in the air. But one day you finally come to understand that work is a
rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. The other four balls...are
made of glass. If you drop one of these, it will be irrevocably scuffed,
nicked, perhaps even shattered.”
― James Patterson, Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas
I am (hopefully, was) Corporate
Junkie for no reason. I loved my work. I was addicted to it. When I started
working at 20, I was relentless. There
was no other motivation except my own. It was not because of money or a
promotion. It was because I had a dream when I took up my degree in Marketing
and Mass Communications – someday, I will
be a great marketing person.
And so live that dream, I did.
I stayed in the office for more
than ten hours without overtime pay. I worked on weekends not because the
bosses asked me to nor to kiss ass but because I wanted to finish so many
things. I brought work home, I skipped meals, I obsessed on making my brands
bigger. I dreamt of my brands, in giant-sized versions of themselves hounding
me because they were not market leaders. My whole entity was 90% my career.
Perhaps this was the reason why I
was not able to establish real or probably, deep personal
relationship with anyone. I have this incessant need to be able to control the
things around me. Humans scared me. They are unpredictable, sometimes volatile.
They hurt you or backbite you or say nasty things about you no matter how you
please them. My Excel and PowerPoint files do not disappoint me. They render
the results that I want to see without any complaints. They do not find faults,
they just execute. We had a very close relationship, me and my work files.
At some point though, I had to stop my work obsession. The tipping point, maybe, was when my husband blurted to me in exasperation (or irritation) that I do not text, I do not reply, I just simply
zone out when I am at work. He was so frustrated about it. There was also a time when my office friends hesitated to invite me to after-office sessions because all I talk about is work! Of course, I shrugged it off at first. How petty can this be!
Later did I realize that it was a
glass ball reaching its breaking point. I learned my lesson in a hard
way.
I have changed somehow (or at
least, so I think). I have come to terms with myself and the idea that I can
actually do my job without sacrificing other things in life – like friends,
companionship, my health. Social media helped a lot and of course, all these
messaging apps which connect people no matter where they are. I was just lucky
that I have some REAL friends and a very understanding family who actually
understand my quirks this whole time.
I have resolved my issues. I tell
myself that I have already reached the pinnacle of that college dream. Based on
my own standards, of course. During my time, all the brands I handled were market
leaders. Call it luck or whatever you want. I do not claim the glory, please
pardon me if that is how this sounds like. All I am saying is this -- I was in love with my brands. I wanted to be great at
what I do. It has already been given to me for the past nine years of handling
wonderful brands from C2 to PowerShot to IXUS to VIXIA. I have done my share. I
have lived my dream.
Now, I appreciate so much what is
on my plate. What I do now is wonderful. Doing projects that help people,
promoting a brand that has long established its name in the crevices of this
world. More than that, it helped me let go and live. To go home to my family.
To take care of my dog, to talk to my husband, to do other things than just
obsessing on numbers. To actually enjoy lunch time with my team mates and have
the time to goof around.
I could not be more grateful. I keep on thanking God for bringing me to where I am now when at first, I was
resistant to the change He was bringing into my life. I never thought I could live not being a marketer. But I am now. And I am enjoying it.
xx,
Corporate Junkie
