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Years go by unnoticed
We think we never change
But when you look back, you will see
Everything is not the same.
My words hung with spite and gore
In the summer after 2004
My world was made out of confusion
Of hate, of rants, of love and its illusion.
But now I see I have grown so much
From wails and sobs, I am now happy
My young years have indeed defined me
And I turned out okay, for the better, hopefully.
I started blogging in 2005 and come to think of it, it has nearly been a decade. I stumbled upon my old blogs and now, I laugh at myself -- those were the days that I talked about cockroaches, about vampires and used a lot of "stuffs" in my writing. I cringe now. *sigh* Sorry, grammar Nazis! I imported all my entries (some, I corrected) to document what a really creepy person I was before! Hahaha!
I have been soooo emo before. Some people consider high school or college as their "lost" years. This is usually the time that you find out who you really are or what you really want. It came to me quite late (pretty much like everything else). I had this moment of finding myself when I left Bacolod to work in Manila. I had no parents to scold me or to guard me if what I was doing was right or wrong. I was free to make my own decisions.
Some of those decisions I was not proud of, haha! I committed so many mistakes in my life when I was here in Manila. Yes, these mistakes, probably the most in terms of number and the worst, in terms of gravity. I ranted and ranted and ranted. I said awful stuff. Crazy years!
But those years made me the person I am now. And I am happy of what I am and what I have achieved so far. So, cheers to change! And cheers to our young, errant, wild self! And cheers to old blogs for reminding us of our wonderful journey of being a diamond in the rough.
xx,
Balot
