In our world today, people are afraid to make friends. We are afraid to trust, to take risks. We put up walls around us and it is hard to get through. It could be for the fear of getting hurt or judged, or we genuinely believe that we can stand alone on our own, be an island.
Being an island is safe. You do not attend to other people's feelings or thoughts. You can just do anything you want and not care. You just attend to your territory. Some people are happier this way - to be left in a me, myself and I state.
But some, if not most, people need relationships. And for relationships such as friendships to flourish, we need to invest. Stephen Covey once mentioned in his book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, about the emotional bank account. We have to make a deposit all the time. How? By being courteous, kind, honest. By honoring commitments. Through this, we build a reserve for our relationships.
I am a sharer, if there is such a term. This is how I build relationships with people around me. I am not afraid to expose my life, my weaknesses, my failures, my success. I always believe that every thing that we experience is a lesson that one can learn from. It would even be much better if those lessons can be used by someone else to overcome their ordeals.
How then would sharing one's life become an investment? It makes you real to the person around you. It makes you human, just like the rest of the world -- it shows your true self -- how triumphs can make you feel elated or how problems are also part of your life. Again, it makes you real and most of us appreciate real people.
In a long run, this openness could even be beneficial for you. I believe that one could never have "more than enough" friends. They could become your prayer warriors in times of challenges. A little whisper to God by all of your friends can bring a miraculous answer. They could make you feel normal. It is an amazing feeling when people start sharing what you feel and empathize with you. It makes you less weird. Makes you feel less alone in carrying the burden of your life.
However, I also believe that it is impossible for one to be friends with EVERYONE just like not all ventures are good investments. In fact, there are (and there will be) people who you could not really open a bank account with. It is simple, you are just way better without each other. It could be because you have different beliefs or values, or of a reason as hilarious as you just do not like them. Period. It is futile effort to push yourself to the people who do not like you. What to do in this situation? You just stay out of each other's way.
Are you an island or are you an investor?
