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"I was my living my own metaphor. A man sets out on a journey, dreaming of a beautiful or magical place, in pursuit of some unknown treasure. At the end of his journey, the man realizes the treasure was with him the entire time. I was following my Personal Legend, and my treasure was my capacity to write. And I wanted to share this treasure with the whole world." Foreword of The Alchemist 2014 Edition, Paulo Coelho
At four years old, I spent time in a duyan under our mango tree, dreaming to be a writer someday. You see, I grew up in this really small town of less than 25,000 people called Pulupandan (Pulo ng Pandan) and there was really nothing to do. No cable, no Internet. We had a family computer which we gladly shared with almost any kid in the whole block. When my parents gave me some Christmas money, I did not buy toys. I bought books. It was because of those books that I learned how to daydream. And when you daydream a lot, you want to put it on a piece of paper. And so, my love affair for writing began.
At eleven, I wanted not to be a technical writer. I wanted to be a writer who could move people's hearts. I became editor-in-chief of our schoolpaper, Starlight, when I was fourteen. I did best creating prose and poetry. I hated news and sportswriting. I did not want to just tell a story. I wanted to move people, make them laugh, make them cry, somehow.
When I was fifteen, I knew exactly what course I would take in college. I took up Liberal Arts and Commerce at La Salle Bacolod. Liberal Arts major in Mass Communications to serve my insatiable need for writing and Commerce major in Marketing to survive economically. They said business courses will never run out of opportunities. So I graduated with two degrees at age twenty; this, despite nearly flunking my PE class because I could not, for the life of me, learn how to swim.
However, when I graduated, I did not want to be a writer anymore. I wanted to become one of the best marketing managers in the country. Sounds very ambitious, I know! To my luck, I did land one of the most prestigious marketing jobs of that time -- to be part of the marketing team of C2 Green Tea of Universal Robina Corporation. I absorbed everything like a sponge. It was the best marketing training any marketing wannabe could ever wish for. After my stint in URC, my marketing career flourished handling cameras at Canon Philippines where I started as an assistant and later on, the marketing head for the whole camera group. Almost ten years after, I would like to think I had a great run at the peak of my career at twenty-six when all of my product lines were all market leaders.
At twenty-six, I was on another detour shifting from marketing to corporate communications. It was a blessing in disguise. I never thought I would enjoy the post. But I did. In fact, it was the greatest fulfillment of my life. I have met wonderful families, kids who are visually impaired, kids with Down Syndrome and rare disorders and so many more. Their stories moved me and each and every one of them taught me the greatest lessons on humility, gratitude and determination. My job was to take care of Canon's corporate social responsibility projects and make a difference in people's lives. Be the heart of Canon. It did the opposite. The job made a difference in my life instead.
And then, God sends me another crossroad at this high point in my career -- to give up everything, throw it all the window and slow down. Stay at home. Be a housewife. Prepare myself if I want to be pregnant.
I remember a dear friend, Agnes, asking me in one of our soulful conversations, "What are you willing to give up?" When she asked me that, I answered, "Probably drinking. Or shoes." Looking back at that time, it sounds so funny. I never thought I could give up a job that I love so much. I never thought I could be a housewife. NEVER. EVER!
Being a housewife is something foreign to me. First, what do I know about housekeeping?! Nothing. I didn't know how to cook although I am slowly learning. I am awful in household expense monitoring which is quite ironic because I have been handling budget blueprints worth millions and not overspending for several years! I am scared of doing something which I was not trained to do.
Technically, I am not scared to be a housewife.I am scared to be a failure. I trudge that path carefully each day.
Today is my fourteenth day of
So it is not bad. It is not bad, after all. I have resolved to see this at a better light. To just treat each day as an act of gratitude to God for giving me an opportunity to slow down. To my husband who is willing to support me all the way, financially, emotionally, spiritually. To my family and friends. Hopefully in the fulfillment of my Personal Legend.
What is my Personal Legend? Is it to be a corporate person? Is it to be a homemaker? Is it to be a writer? I do not know yet. I take it one day at a time. But I could not wait for the universe to guide me the way.
xx,
Balot
