I am Corporate Junkie.: 2006

Nov 28, 2006

Falling...

...into my schizo world. I have this weird urge to write since yesterday. I went home late last night and as I hailed a cab and did some stupid melodramatic looney moments -- this means looking outside the car window with a faraway look and some mellow music on the car stereo -- I just am fading deeper into my thoughts about everything that exists around me. I tap the keyboard of my PC amidst the half-accomplished...

About a Boy

He smokes. He drinks. He plays poker. He has lots of girls (and gays, hehe) swooning over him - lot of competition, eh! He is the most mataray and sungit person I've ever known.He gives me flowers. He cooks for me. He plays Soduko with me. He fetches me when I stay late in the office. He listens to me. He always gives in to all my tantrums. He is the sweetest person I have ever known.Life has its own ironies. It also threw the...

You Just Don’t Know Who To Trust

It has been just over a year since I was a junkie in this corporate jungle and already, I have been bitten by a snake.My mom always said never to trust anyone but myself particularly about money. Unfortunately, as gullible as I am, I just had not minded that precaution.The person who I considered to be very close to my heart in our office betrayed me. Betrayed me because of some friggin big bucks. Funny thing is, I did not want...

Fettuccini Embryoli

I don't know. It was funny. It was gross. I came across this question here in blogger -- that thing in the profile page -- What is the name of your fave stage actress before she was born? And then this name popped up in my mind ... Fettuccini Embryoli... Fetus in broccoli or embryos in fettuccini? Ok, let me stop just right ther...

The Devil Does Not Wear Prada

I was badly ranting to watch The Devil Wears Prada. In fact, I'm dying to watch this flick.I have been for several days and for some weird occurences, I just could not make it to the moviehouse. First, I was not able to beat a 7:30 showing on Wednesday. Second, there were no more seats for a last full show on Friday and so on and so forth.Yesterday, Edzel and I were set to watch an 830 showing at Eastwood. We were about to leave...

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Confessions of an Alcoholic

sane mode pa... cel and me at cena We are not drunk! -- hik, hik! yeah, right! Hell am I such a crazy girl!! I have been into the effort of kicking the cigarette butts lately but guess what is taking its place? Friggin drunkenness!!! Sigh! When do I really learn? It is a Friday night and I am still waiting for friends...

Funny...

"You are my star in the night, shining for me baby. Love is so right... I can see it's changing everything..." People pop into your life at weirdest, unexpected seasons. Mine came the summer of '06.When someone comes into your life, you don't necessarily ask for them. Sometimes you even wish they don't. However, at some opportune time (maybe...

PMS-ing

One day, you wake up feeling a wild jolt electrocuting some cells in your brain and you flash your eyes wide open wondering where you are. It happened to me today -- darn, of all days, it should have not been today!My room was not blary -- it was just 5:45 in the morning. I can see stars falling on me (those stupid glow-in-the-dark stickers that I bought turned out to be useless) and the alarm on my phone just won't quit. I...

Sugar and Spice

I've long thought that I am some sort of "kabalan" (an Ilonggo word somehow equivalent to frigidity) in this relationship "game" but now, in the middle of things, I fumble and get caught up with all the apprehensions that I believed long escaped my pages. With all the things that happened to me in the past, a lot of them were quite awful -- I just would not want to f*ck things up again. I mean, I had my share of heartaches...

Everything???

**One moment it fits exactly what I felt, and just with one message, everything crumbled into bits and pieces... I'm finding the more I see the more I can see Now I'm not hiding anymore Come on baby Let me know how you feel Come on take me I can see this is real Ever since your love filled my life I see it's changing everything Don't you know the way you move me It's so right, it's better than anything You are the star in...

Dreams

I sat at the bar drinking my banana-mint mix (which was beautifully colored green), oblivious to the partying crowd around me. This is one of those times when I am effortlessly absorbed in my thoughts (blank thoughts, sadly) and just park all that is going around me. I closed my eyes as Kaskade was spinning his It's You, It's Me track and lunged forward to find myself outside of my body -- astral projection... (I am weird so...

When Creative Juices...

...start pouring in. I seldom blog these days... I don't know. Maybe it is because I am bombarded by work or because there is actually nothing interesting to talk about. Or maybe I was taken aback (just a little, kiddo!) because you know how blogs work.. They sort of pop up in all forms of viewing in the Internet and I respect my privacy(yeah, right!). Or maybe the hell not. But there are almost those times when you...

Long Days

My intuition still never fails me. My last blog was about my anxiety attack and guess what, there is indeed something bad that happened to someone close to me. I actually don't know the details yet but he had a car accident in Italy last Friday... But I am really looking forward that they are okay now...This has been a long day with a lot of things that seemed to never end. I don't know....

Eeyoric

I don't know how to describe the feeling whenever I get anxiety attacks. I just get all this fidgety and restless without even a single reason why I am feeling this friggin way. There seems to be a gazillion things to do although I am procrastinating everything to the core because I am not feeling good. My stomach feels weird. It's having its own rumbly-in-my-tummy again. My heart beats like some crazed machine gone out of...

My River Jordan

I don't claim the Jordan River. I just want to call it mine for the mere fact that I just want to.. Haha.. This is purely some..uhh.. what do you call this *thinking* -- vicarious experience, as being just told to me secondhand by someone who is currently on his own Amazing Race trip from Jordan up to Spain. "What do you want...

Confessions of a Workaholic

I am making hum-hums inside my head, trying to escape from my little aquamarine cubicle amidst the stack of papers and product samples and hell-whatever-it-is that are currently scrounging for its own space on my own little desk. I try to key in all these words in my desperation to have a little bit of Elysium in my oh-so-hectic schedule. Hah! So much for being a dedicated brand person. I've never been so actually happy...

Just Postin...

I got my copy of pictures from a friend and I thought of having this nonsense collage of memories.. hahaha.. Enjoy! Tuesday chill out in our place with our baby boss and some red wine... Bacolodians rocked Wednesday night.. Haha.. Teazz Wendesday launch.. cool party!!! :-) Together with Team Beverage! Jonah's shake @...

Gratitude

Happy Birthday to me. Happy Birthday to me.Hmmm… 22nd birthday – my first thingamajig away from home and my family. I am actually stuck here in the office, in front of my PC, procrastinating (again!) and well, blogging. Hahaha.There have been so many milestones in my life this past year… a lot of firsts happened – first advertising shoots, first Bora (the best! Sorry, still got this beach trance upon me), Baguio, Davao, first...

Sand, Stars and Sizzle

“I've been thinkin' 'bout everyone, everyone you look so lonely -- But when I look at the stars, when I look at the stars, when I look at the stars I see someone else -- When I look at the stars, the stars, I feel like myself…” – STARS by Switchfoot I still have this weird Bora hangover. I am doing lots of...

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Abysmal Distortions

I cringe at the sounds of the clicking keyboardat the doze of the night that stands stillA lonely desolate heart in the midst of an abyssthat keeps on pulling me to the darkness.The heart cries and bleedsfor the loss of things that were never thereHallucinations that fed the deceptionFalse promises that chokes til death.And at the brink of the reality that came too fastEverything was lost and gone all the same Of the sham and...

More Thoughts

"All I wanted to do was collapse in someone's arms and cry today, but there wasn't anyone there to catch me." ~Unknown "As she sits upon her window sill, she knows that love, love is something she'll never feel.. and her tears keep her company... and she dreams of how it would be.. as she cries." "A lot of people get flipped out if you're quiet. They say stuff like, 'What are you thinking?' And if they don't start interrogating...

On Feeling Bad

I feel bad. I don't know if I should be posting this but it feels right to blog this at this very moment. There seems like to be two stones with big biceps grappling my throat and my aorta. I REALLY FEEL BAD.And then I posted the previous entry. And yet I still feel bad. I browsed KissMyMike's blog and for some reason, his blog even created a worsening hollowness within me. And I feel double extra bad.How can I get this low?...

Just Blowing some Steam

Isn't it irritating how some people could actually rub on your face so many times that you are a big-time loser? I don't know. Leaving the management training program was difficult. Not difficult in the sense that I do not know where my professional path is going because I am sure as hell that I would love to be back in Marketing. It was difficult because I knew that from the start, I would be displaced from my group....

Depressive Episodes Part 2

DISCLAIMER: KINDLY REFER TO THE PREVIOUS POST · I could not remember a lasting happiness or contentment in my life. There’s always this emptiness that ebbs at the surface – a nagging feeling that engulfs me before I go to sleep. And anxiety attacks seldom leave me (palpitating heart, sweaty hands and nauseating mode that sucks).· I am the perfect epitome of Eeyore. I want to abandon all my dreams, go back to Bacolod, and...

Depressive Episodes Part 1

Signs and symptoms: Lasting sad, anxious, or empty mood Feelings of hopelessness or pessimismFeelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessnessLoss of interest or pleasure in activities once enjoyed Decreased energy, a feeling of fatigue or of being "slowed down"Difficulty concentrating, remembering, making decisionsRestlessness or irritabilitySleeping too much, or can't sleepChange in appetite and/or unintended weight loss or...

Flutesnoot and Friends...

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Masochism

Has it ever dawned on you to run and yet dwell on the pain -- look at the things that slap your face with things that could just never happen -- that were never meant to be? I just did. Thanks to friendster for the realizations. Cheers to me and my martini....

Rip-Off

I always stayed in some sort of darkness.. I don't know... there's just something in it that attracts me... maybe my lunacies again... Everything came to a freezing pathetic halt. My life blurred in front of me. I pass by that day with a very heavy heart. Work barraged me like some storm and I was not in my utmost condition. I stared at the monitor of my PC doing all the accounting stuff while there is some drilling pain...

Pseudo Pumpkin-Arsed Carriage

Cinderella is schizophrenic. Yup you heard that right. There were no pumpkin turned into a silver carriage. No glass slippers. No nothing at all. If you would really think about it, she just invented everything in accordance with what she would have wanted to believe. Like the movie, Beautiful Mind, all of those people were...

Dirtbag

...like m...

The Dingbat who Feels

"There's something beautiful in the falling grace of a falling star."~Louise Sybing I loved falling stars. When I was young, I used to sit outside our house in my very small chair in the early hours of the evening. Back in the province, six o'clock is like midnight. Every windows and doors are closed -- everyone propped inside the house,...

The Ultimate Dingbat

I was browsing through the internet again when some quotes by the same writer stroke my dingbat of a brain into a trip with the Whooping Willow (ever read Harry Potter?!) and it kinda gave me an internal hemorrhage. I have always been a lover of words. I read books, appreciate a lot about literature and all those stuff. I write a lot, pour out emotions on paper.. Well, actually blogging has made it easier because you are...

Manic Monday

My earliest stint this week would have to be arriving at the office at around 7:15 am and opening my blogger to scribble some things off before I actually battle heads-on with a lot of my deadlines.. The weekend has been bliss - well if you are like me who consider sleeping as some sort of ecstacy then... tee-hee - Anyways, I am...

OT - Galore

One minute before nine in the evening... where am I? hahaha.. still at the office! This is something! Just two weeks in Beverage and I am on my feet for overtime work. I just finished my marketing plan (to be submitted tomorrow, first thing in the morning) and my back friggin aches... but the fulfillment that I am feeling can never be expressed. Tired yet really, really happy of the empowerment that I am receiving... Anyways,...

Feels Like Home

I walk at the corridors of my old office back in URC and a feeling of nostalgia washes over me. Here I am again... finally. An overwhelming feeling pours over me - there were actually no room for regrets even if I have searched for some. I entered the office and I knew that this is indeed where I belong... I look at all the good nooks of the area and all I see are budget appropriation forms, promotional workplans, marketing...

Doomsday and I AM ECSTATIC!

My blogging days are so like OVER! Finally, after a so-so 100 agonizing days, I am on the top of the my arse again. I am back on my marketing tracks. Wip-pee! I feel so elated that after a lot of fickle-minded, brow-arching consultations that I have with the rest of the management trainees about my offer for absorption back in URC Beverage, I've finally closed that chapter and will move on. I am so excited to start doing...

Sleep

...my...mind...is...malfunctioning... I wish I could know the secret to sleeping with eyes wide open. Sheesh... I am so sleepy. My eyelids are like heavy tea bags soaked in water. I was giving this big kadiri yawn every other minute, my eyes are already misty and my body wants to lie down.. Aacck.. Send me home please! Let there be.. uh... a coup d'etat... naah.. maybe a storm or a... or a... (fine! I'll stop!) I...

My Rantantations (leave the term alone!)

My mind is drifting off again... which is not unusual especially when I am here in my demented desolate place at the fourth floor of the new building of the Digitel office. I have several green pile in front of me -- the green folder that contains my resignation letter, C2 Green Tea Plain in 355 mL, and Piattos Sour Cream and Onion in green packaging. Anyways, enough of that. For several months now I have been in a...

Can't Let Go

I watched Vanilla Sky yesterday with Pau (my housemate that looked like Uma, hehe)… One of those boring Sunday afternoons. It drove me crazy. I like it and I don’t. I like it because it was a lunatic, schizophrenic movie – something that interests me. I don’t like it because it makes you think and the conclusions you draw in your mind...

Vanilla Sky

I have a story to tell - On a humid Sunday noon, Akira woke up and felt an overwhelming bumness. She turned on the video player and inserted a movie. Pathetic as she was, this would be the first time that she will be watching Vanilla Sky when the flick was released years ago. Akira relished the mind-boggling movie for almost two hours. As the movie came to end, several big stones were crashing on her heart. Akira never...

Sequels of Nostalgia - Part III

Things I miss back home: Places: Tawhay - this is a "shack" (as in literally) where most of my barkadas make tambay. It is very sunoy "rugged and craggy" -- What I love about this place is the "homemade" food. They specialize in chili pork (goodness, heaven! I ate two and a half rice every time I order sizzling...

Sequels of Nostalgia Part II

I walked at the sidewalks towards the station. There were several students at the gate, smoking (in Bacolod, when you smoke, you are either a slut, an addict or some you-don't-wanna-know), waiting for their boy/girlfriends, eating Piaya and so on. I passed by the computer shop to check if some of my barkadas were there but it seemed deserted...

Sequels of Nostalgia Part I

I squeezed my baby pillow as I snuggled under my blanket, trying to block the rays of the sun which is disturbing me from my beauty rest. I was about to drift back again to Dreamland when a moving UFO (or whatever) slumped me on my stomach and I had to cry out a big "OOFF!" "Bugtaw na, nang! (Gising na, 'te!)" A mouse was screeching in my ears. I covered my face with my pillow and groaned, praying that my kid sister...