I am Corporate Junkie.: 2012

Dec 19, 2012

A Grinch's Wish for Christmas

This might just be the bleakest Christmas ever -- Pablo devastating the Mindanao area with hundreds of people who died, children killed in mass shooting and my own internal turmoil.

I was reading an article about all those who died in the Sandy Hook shooting and goosebumps were trailing my whole body. So many wasted lives -- kids who lit up their parents' lives, a therapist whose boyfriend was supposed to propose to her on Christmas Eve, kids who lost their parents. It is really saddening.

And then there's Pablo. It was only a year ago when Mindanao was brought down by typhoon Sendong and once again, at almost the same time, they were not spared.

Mindanao is close to my heart. My uncle and his family used to live in Agusan Del Sur for so many years before they relocated back to Pulupandan due to security reasons. 19 people died from that municipality and hundreds more in Compostela Valley and Davao del Sur. As of Saturday, there was still no water nor electricity. Most of the people are still waiting for relief operations (if you still want to donate, please check out this entry. I have included some sites where you can donate). Some private companies have also extended their help to these afflicted areas.

It all seems surreal.

As much as I want to, I could not feel my Christmas spirit. Not that I really like the season ever since. I hate Christmas traffic and the jam-packed malls. But at this moment in my life, I detest it a little bit more. This was supposed to be a season for family and for reconciliation. For thanksgiving and well wishes. I am too deep in my black hole to feel any merriment.

Soo, dear Christmas. What can we offer each other?

For me, all I want is a pinch of peace, an ounce of hope and a little speck of happiness. I do not want to be a green-eyed Grinch anymore.

How about you? What can I offer you?

xx,

Corporate Junkie

On Cravings: Pino Resto Bar

Before the lazy virus attacks me again, I am maximizing the things which I wanted to write about for some days now.

There is a fairly familiar resto which was introduced to me by a close friend several years ago. This is where we used to hang out whenever we had heartaches and problems to mull over.

The place is not only cozy, it actually served really, really good food. Their bagnet menu is to die for. And yeah, the giant margaritas!

Anyway, back to this cozy little haven. The place is called Pino Resto Bar. The first branch is located in Malingap St., Teachers' Village, Quezon City. I haven't been there for a long time though ever since my friend left the area.

On Cravings: Basix, Dusit Thani Manila

I am not a foodie. However, I like certain kinds of food - steaks, pork, Japanese food and despite the fact that it is not good for me, oysters.

Last week, I got invited to a victory party and they were hosting it in Dusit Thani Manila. And once again, Basix did not disappoint.

Basix does not only serve these favorites I mentioned above, they also offer a wide variety of desserts for any of you who has a sweet tooth.

Maguro sashimi always make my day. Ahh, and miso too!

On Writing: Eeyoric

In the silence of the room, I got to acknowledge what I really feel.

I feel void. Confused.

Confused because I do not understand what is going on around me. Despite wracking my brains, I could not understand. I am so confused and flabbergasted. I do not know why the tables are turned towards me.

I am not washing my hands. In fact, I do apologize for the hurtful words that come out of my mouth. I apologize for the profanity. But I am not sorry for what I feel.

Sometimes though, you just get to the point when things just kick off to its boiling point. I am sick and tired of the situation, like listening repeatedly to an annoying soundtrack, and the only person who could stop the music does not want to end it. And then, without even thinking, hell just breaks loose because you just can’t take listening to that awful noise anymore.

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;

Enjoying one moment at a time;

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

Taking, as He did, this sinful world

as it is, not as I would have it;

Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will;

That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him

Forever in the next.

Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

On Writing: A Love I Never Had (A Repost)

September 3

Tomorrow I will see him. I don't know how I could face him. I don't know how to stand the hatred that I will be seeing on his face -- the betrayal, the pain that I have caused. My stomach is twisting into tight knots and my chest is constricted I could faint now.

I lay on the bed and saw his picture on my side table -- a silly smirk across his face as he was pinning me down because he wouldn't give me some of his ice cream. Tears began trickling.

September 4

Today, after a year, I will be ready to come in terms with the person whom I have had the longest grievance with.

I dropped by a flower shop and grabbed some white roses. He would like it, hopefully. He always did. He has some of his weird innate kabadingan as I always tell him. I drove to our meeting place and sat down on the cool grass. I looked around and he wasn't there.

Maybe he decided not to show up. I sighed as tiny shards of ice prick my whole being.

Then the stirring of the wind. And he was there.

Scary Typhoons are well... scary.

Living in the Philippines is a love and hate situation. This country boasts of a plethora of varied and wonderful flora and fauna, rich heritage and history due to the influences of many cultures who have set foot on this land and of course the 7,107 islands that you can explore.

However, we are also faced with a lot of uncontrollable challenges especially when typhoon season happens. For this year, it was estimated that 31 typhoons or bagyos will hit the country.

Currently, we are being challenged again by Typhoon Pablo (internationally known as Bopha) which devasted the Visayas and the Mindanao regions.

I empathize with the flight of those who are afflicted -- I have been in a similar state when Ondoy happened in 2009, leaving Manila in great destruction. Personally, my apartment was out of electricity for almost a week, the waters reach knee-high level inside the house and we were stranded inside our residence because of floods in the surrounding area.

Reminiscing the Ramen Experience

Last February, I was able to visit Japan for the first time. Together with some media friends, we visited the CP+ expo in Yokohama (more on the trip in the next posts).

Before heading to Yokohama though, we visited this ramen place in Dazaifu in Fukuoka. I have never really liked noodles and I was a little bit disappointed when I knew that this was lunch already. The place was in a very small area. It was very surprising though that people literally were making a beeline outside of this restaurant!

We arrived inside and sat at the noodle bar which faced their kitchen. Since we did not know any Japanese and the waitress did not know any English, we communicated through sign language. She just asked us to choose the kind of noodles and the spiciness that we want and point our option on a menu board that she was holding (the noodles were categorized into stiff, soft, or something like that). After that, she disappeared.


All the Japanese variations plastered on the wall. Of course, we had no idea what they meant.

After several minutes, this was presented.

The Coron Island Tour - Part II

Coron / Busuanga has become one of my earmarked vacation places. The crystal clear waters, the flourishing flora and fauna -- it is really a great place to relax. I have previously blogged about the first part of our Coron Island Tour which happened on the second day of our trip. For the first part of this tour, please click here.

Our next stop was the seven islands known as the Siete Pecados. I have a vague memory of these islands; I remember back in 2000, when ship travel was still the more common way of transport from Bacolod to Manila, this was included in the route and I often counted these seven islands.

According to Andrew, our tour guide, Siete Pecados means seven sisters. Based on a legend, there were seven sisters who left home on a stormy night and were never found. Their family seached and searched to no avail. One day, their parents prayed to the gods to let them see their daughters once again. Days after, these seven islands sprouted out of nowhere.

So that's how the story unfolded and became part of the local history.

Anyway, going back to the trip -- the following pictures portray the seven islands. I wasn't able to bring a camera with a lens that is wide enough to take a picture of all the seven islands together so please bear with me.

The Coron Island Tour - Part I

"The newt play the flute, The carp play the harp, The plaice play the bass, And they soundin' sharp The bass play the brass, The chub play the tub, The fluke is the duke of soul. The ray he can play, The ling's on the strings, The trout's rocking out, The blackfish she sings, The smelt and the sprat, They know where it's at, And oh, that blowfish blow! Ha-ha" - Sebastian, The Little Mermaid

A lot of people who I have talked to seemed to be pretty curious with our Coron trip. I think people have been wanting to go but some might have thought that Coron is only for divers because it is, in fact, very popular with its wreck and reefs dive spots. Truth be told, this was also my hesitation at first, but to set the record straight, this island is for everyone who wants to relax and have a good time. For beach-lovers, this place is heaven.

On our second day at Coron, we have decided to go on an island tour. It was only practical for us to get the package offered by El Rio. The itinerary was: Barracuda Lake, Kayangan (for some, it's Cayangan) Lake, Siete Pecados and Maquinit Hot Springs. Looking at several tours offered by the resort, there still seems to be a lot of places which we could have gone to such as the Calauit Safari Farm, Culion and several other islands. But due to lack of time, we settled with the Coron Loop Tour instead.

Boats for the tours leave the Coron wharf. There are several tours leaving towards the different scenic spots the whole day.

On the way to Barracuda Lake.

El Rio Y Mar: Simply Paradise Part II

I would not tire of saying this again, but I have fallen in love with Coron. Or shall I say, I have fallen in love with El Rio Y Mar.

I have already written about the kinds of accommodation that you can avail if you are considering this lovely resort. If you haven't seen that post, click here.

So now, I will walk you through the remaining amenities and activities which you can enjoy at the resort.

The Library

Even if there was no TV set in our room, I really did not run out of things to do. And quite useful was their library which featured quite a selection -- they even had a Murakami! There were board games as well such as Scrabble, Pictionary, Taboo, chess and backgammon.

El Rio Y Mar: Simply Paradise Part I

"Take me somewhere I can breathe, I've got so much to see, this is where I want to be in a place I can call mine." - Pure Shores, All Saints

I've always loved the beach. I do not know what draws me to it -- maybe it is the scorching heat of the sun (I never really liked the cold), the sound of the waves crashing on the shore or simply the feeling that when you are at it, you have all the excuses in the world to bum and laze around. Yes, maybe this is why I love beaches so much.

So when I had the chance to finally visit Coron, I chose El Rio Y Mar, a nice little island hidden somewhere far away from the town proper.

Chronicling Coron

Disclaimer: The past four days that I have been out of civilization made me realize one thing -- posting photos of the places I go to may not be enough. Why? Because my short-term memory is as crappy as ever. So kindly indulge me as I chronicle important things through some words and a little "photography"..

Date: November 22 - 25, 2012.
Itinerary: Coron, Busuanga.
Event: Edzel's Birthday.

I love the beach.That is the word that would immediately pop into my mind when you say vacation. Beach = vacation.

So for Edzel's birthday, I got ourselves a vacation to Coron, Busuanga. I booked a flight through Air Philippines on the day of Edzel's birthday - November 22. Flight schedule was at 13:50 so there was a lot of time to goof around.

AirPhil Express leaves for Busuanga at the Terminal 3 Airport.

It only took roughly an hour from Manila to Busuanga. Despite my paranoia for propeller planes, we safely arrived at the Francisco Reyes Airport. Did not have a very good landing though, hehe. Probably because of the really short runway.

Safe, sound and on-time.

Bipolar Mania Disorder

"Bipolar disorder is a condition in which people experience intermittent abnormally elevated (manic or hypomanic) and, in many cases, abnormally depressed states for periods of time in a way that interferes with functioning." - Check Wiki link here.

So I have opened up to my husband some years ago that I may have bipolar disorder and just tonight, that topic just reappeared out of the blue. It got me thinking.

I have always suspected that I have this disorder. If you can browse through my blog, there are moments of "elevation" but most of the time, the "episodes" do not go away for a consistently longer period of time. I was trying to also revisit an old blog and most of the content has been nothing but eeyoric (the term I use in reference to Eeyore of Winnie the Pooh cartoons who has a dark cloud looming over his head).

The Dingbat Who Feels - A Repost from March 2006

"There's something beautiful in the falling grace of a falling star." - Louise Sybing

I loved falling stars. When I was young, I used to sit outside our house on my very small chair in the early hours of the evening. Back in the province, six o'clock is like midnight. Every window or door is closed -- everyone propped inside the house, watching telenovelas or something. My sister used to play paper dolls which I drew and cut for her, with their tiny paper dresses. Unfortunately I was only good in making them yet, I least enjoyed them.

I was not the usual girl in the block. I used to go around the town in my bike. My cousins (of my age) were all boys and so, I was the boyish type. I am either found biking around or at the top of our roof and climbing our datiles tree. I remember my lola always bringing this really slender stick which she waves at me all the time...

Salvation

"Crawl inside your cave, Davos. Crawl inside and shrink up small and the ship will go away, and no one will trouble you ever again. Sleep on your stone pillow, and let the gulls peck out your eyes while the crabs feast on your flesh. You've feasted enough of them, you owe them. Hide, smuggler, Hide, and be quiet, and die." - A Storm of Swords: Steel and Snow, George R. R. Martin

Quantifying Pain

“People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.” -Jim Morrison

Sometimes, things happen which make you realize that you are alive and everything is not a candy-coated paradise as you thought they were -- that not all things appear as if they were in a fairy tale; that it is not always a happy ever after.

When people you love hurt you, may they be a friend or family, it drills down deep to the core. You try to keep it inside the recesses of your heart, thinking that your "unconditional love" can overcome the hurt. You feel that you have no choice but to resort to some wishful thinking that they do not put you in that black hole ever again.

Loving Unconditionally

"I am going to sit here with you by the river. If you go home to sleep, I will sleep in front of your house. And if you go away, I will follow you — until you tell me to go away. Then I'll leave. But I have to love you for the rest of my life." - Paulo Coelho

There are many forms of love. There are four kinds according to C.S. Lewis in his book The Four Loves -- Storge, Philia, Eros and Agape. Storge means affection often existing among family members and relatives; Philia for friendship; Eros for romance and Agape is a love that brings forth caring regardless the circumstance.

Today, I have come to discover that unconditional love resides in me despite my consistent nonchalance, my "no-reply" to texts or my pure lack of showing emotions and concern. In my life, there are certain people who I love in this unfathomable way.

Don't Rain On My Parade

“...the opposite of love is not hate -- it's apathy. It's not giving a damn. If somebody hates me, they must "feel" something ... or they couldn't possibly hate. Therefore, there's some way in which I can get to them.” ― Leo F. Buscaglia

I started blogging in 2005. It was an outlet for boredom and a way to get things off my chest. This is because I have never been good with personal interface. I would just rather put my thoughts into words. Back in school, it was through a school paper. Nowadays, the blogosphere provided a perfect platform for that.

According to Nielsen, 6.7 million people publish blogs on blogging websites, and another 12 million write blogs using their social networks. My blog is, hmm, 1 out of almost 18 million sites. A speck in the blogging universe.

SO PLEASE...

If you do not like what I write here, go somewhere else. Technorati is one place where you can scrounge for a blog which you may like. If you are irritated with how I write -- I never claimed perfection in my writing anyway -- close that tiny little button at the top-right part of your screen or press Alt-F4.

No one forces you to stay and absorb the things I rant about. So, get a life! Hopefully, a life not hinged on faultfinding.

xx,

Corporate Junkie

Note: Someone loves me so much as to waste her time proofing my blog --> visit my comments page under http://www.imcorporatejunkie.com/2012/08/changes_9.html. Oh well, some people are just too darn perfect... NOT!

P.S. I take correction only from people I know. Not from faceless cowards.

Haters Gonna Hate

Phobic

“Don’t bother trying to explain your emotions. Live everything as intensely as you can and keep whatever you felt as a gift from God. The best way to destroy the bridge between the visible and invisible is by trying to explain your emotions.” -Paulo Coelho, Brida

Emotion, despite having lots of it, paralyzes me when it comes from other people. I cringe when someone shares with me their happiness or devastation or whatever comes in between. It's not that I cannot empathize. I do. I just do not know how to deal with it.

I always believe that I am a sucker for emotions. I am a bipolar nutcase. I can go from being ecstatic to totally depressed in a short span of time. Maybe it's the distribution of my hormones, I really don't know. However, these emotions are kept at bay, just lurking at the recesses of my room. I could not even discuss these feelings with friends. I trust them, there is no question in that, but I always feel that it is too much drama putting it out there (save for the few times that the cup ran over). And then, there is that risk of exposure. Too much exposure of one's vulnerability.

Changes

"People want to change everything and, at the same time, want it all to remain the same." – Paulo Coelho

This year has been a rollercoaster of change -- a lot of firsts in my personal and professional life. I was able to visit Beijing and Japan for the first time. The latter, a little more significant since Japanese culture has intrigued me since I was a small girl. I was assigned to my first stint outside of marketing. I got married. First and last, I pray. Wink! June 17, 2012 was one of the happiest, if not the perfect moment of my life. Shortly a month after, I got a positive pregnancy result. Yet, a day after, we lost it all too soon. First married life heartbreak.

Emotional Paralysis

"Boredom is rage spread thin." -Paul Tillich

I hate having episodes.

There is nothing I want to do but curl up in bed. Everything around me is in topsy-turvy. A lot of commotion everywhere. But I am battling my own turmoil inside.

I was trying to find some adequate reason for this detachment that I am feeling and what Tillich said seemed to make perfect sense. My boredom is my rage within. Something which I could not do anything about.

And yet, it is eating me alive.

It is easy to say that it's okay. I feel fine. I thought I was fine. But there is this stupid nagging feeling of guilt and what-ifs and what-nots which prevent me to do my normal routine.

I feel stuck and numb and... empty.

I am in another kind of black hole.

Again.

xx,
Corporate Junkie

A Daughter's Love

To a father growing old, nothing is dearer than a daughter. –Euripides

I never thought I would see the day my father would cry. I did. Fortunately, I just saw it in pictures. It would have been heartbreaking to actually see him crumble.

My father is an epitome of strength, sometimes bordering into sternness. I can still vividly remember the days when my Papa sat beside me, coaching me through my Math subjects in grade school no matter how exasperated I was in solving gazillions of equations. He was the reason I loved Math.

My father did not show a lot of emotions. In fact, back then, I felt that I was disappointing him all the time. Not graduating valedictorian in high school or dropping out of the dean’s list because of stupid swimming classes and failing the physical examinations.

But two weekends ago, on June 17, everything in the past did not matter. During our “last” dance, the love that was very hard to pin down, was so staggering it was like an avalanche. I knew, in my heart, that all these times, he was nothing but a father proud of his daughter.

As the song, You Can Let Go Now Daddy played, I tried so hard to fight the tears. But there it welled.

My relationship with my dad was never vocal. There were no frequent “I love you’s” nor hugs nor heart-to-heart conversation. But I know that I will always be, despite the change in my last name, his little Amechachurra girl – a daughter before I became a wife to somebody. In his family before I have a family of my own.

So to you, Papa, let us just get this out of my system – Thank you so much for everything. I love you. Unconditionally.

Belated Happy Fathers' Day.

xx,

Your Eldest :)

The Start of Forever

As perfect as I imagined it to be.

Balot and Edzel: Same Day Edit from Jason Magbanua on Vimeo.

On Writing: Gratitude

“Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

I just posted in my Facebook account that I am having a severe mental block. Although I have promised myself to populate this site with one blog a day (they say this is the most effective way of keeping your readers), I just can't seem to do it. Lack of topics, perhaps. Lack of interest? Lack of sparkle?

After the delirious pacing of my mind on the topics that I can discuss, I asked myself, what is the most significant thing that happened to me today?

On Writing: Stitches and Burns

I maybe a masochist but that is fine; because I know what kind of pain can kill me. You however, are a sadist. You keep on hurting me -- and you are breaking me into pieces.

People have different propensity to pain – physical or emotional. I consider myself at the higher tolerance level of this grid. So when I begin to cocoon myself, you have really hurt me good.

However, there are also two kinds of people – the people who hurt you but they do not matter and the others who do. For the first type, I usually just shrug them off. They are not worth my time anyway. The second one is the hardest to ignore – people who matter – close friends, family, loved ones. It is hard to ignore because of the deposits you have invested in the emotional bank account. Yet, they keep on taking you for granted and depleting whatever “emotional funds” you have put in.

No one is perfect. Even I have my own share of both intentional and accidental grievances. However, when epiphany comes, I DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Because at the end of the day, I do not want to hurt the people who are important to me.

On Writing: My Pursuit for Happy-ness

"A happiness project is an approach to changing your life." -The Happiness Project, Gretchen Rubin

A month ago, I read this book from Regina Brett about Life's Little Detours. It talked about finding and holding on to happiness. No, I am not here to talk philosophically what happiness is all about or preach happiness is a choice or what-not. What I really want to share is this longing I have to improve my perspective in life.

I have always been a happy person. Internally, that is. I seem all grunge and angst outside but generally, I have always been happy. I am happy with everything that has turned out in every aspect of my life - work, love, family, friends.

So why engage myself on this happiness project?

Ohana

They say you cannot choose your family. But if I could have had, I would still choose ours. <3 -ETAmechachurra, 032912

The inventors of our weird names, ladies and gentlemen, Ernesto and Lucy!

Quatro Marias. Ela, Kristine, Lucerne, Ernalou. Haha. Weird names :)

Home is where your heart is. And for all my existence, my heart resides with these people.

Where I am now is really a result of my parents' upbringing and the family's relationship with one another. Oh yes, we were not always that happy. In fact we quarrel a lot. So what gives?

First, there is a deeper sense of love that brings us all together -- and this is my mom's biggest heart. The heart of forgiveness and patience for everyone in the family. The heart of sacrifice and just pure unconditional love. A heart that pushes her to prepare meals after a hard days' work to serve on the table at the end of the day and make everyone come together for dinner. A heart that will never, ever give you up and never expecting anything in return. Sure, she nags. But you gotta give that to her for all the things she is putting up with, taking care of one stubborn man and four bickering daughters.

And my father, where do I even start... The discipline, PR skills and the struggle for excellence originated from him. I used to remember him and me, burning the candles for my Mathematics and Spelling Quiz Bees during the good 'ol elementary days. I remember writing to my dad before, telling him to show more emotions and care and love for everyone. As most dads I presume, he was this stiff person who just provided financially and prepared us intellectually. He was never really the emotional type. But that was so many years ago. Today, my Papa is a source of inspiration, a confidant and my drinking buddy! :)

Which brings me finally to my sisters. We may not be like each other in all aspects. Lucerne and I may like girly shoes while Tin and Ela paint the town red with their sneakers. How introvert Ela can be is actually an exact contradiction of me. While Tin loves the simplicity of Bacolod life, I dwell and lavish in the demands of this corporate jungle. How Ela can be so quiet opposes Lucerne's hyperactive mode.

But we all looovvveee Japanese anime. We have our pillows we sniff when we go to bed. Gross pillows same as our ages. We love donuts. We loved school. Ela and I share the passion for books and writing. Tin and Lucerne love to eat. I think we all love singing.

So this is my family. My blood line. I may soon lose my kick-ass family name, Amechachurra, but I will never lose my home, my family. Because it will always be here. Somewhere probably at the left part of my aorta :)

xx,

Corporate Junkie

Insomniac On the Loose

“Finally, from so little sleeping and so much reading, his brain dried up and he went completely out of his mind.” - Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra, Don Quixote

I rarely sleep before midnight.

Maybe it is the enormous load of caffeine I take in during the day. Or maybe it is because of the books that are waiting to be read, or blogs waiting to be typed or games waiting to be played. But seriously, I feel that there are a lot of things to do rather than have a shuteye.

Sometimes, I try to lie on my bed at ten in the evening and remind myself that my body needs its eight hours of sleep to recuperate from all the stress that I have undergone through the day. And then, I watch the ceiling for an hour, try to count some sheep, or cats or what-nots. After a very unsuccessful trial, I turn on the lights and do something else. So much for that eight-hour sleep regimen.

Abysmal Distortions, A Repost

I cringe at the sounds of the clicking keyboard

at the doze of the night that stands still

A lonely desolate heart in the midst of an abyss

that keeps on pulling me to the darkness.

The heart cries and bleeds

for the loss of things that were never there

Hallucinations that fed the deception

False promises that chokes til death.

And at the brink of the reality that came too fast

Everything was lost and gone all the same

Of the sham and uncertainties that kept on lingering

the only thing that was left was a broken soul.

2006 March 30

What I Want to Say When Words Can't Still Compose My Emotions

My heart is full of emotions. Things I wanna say. Things I rather keep to myself. And then I stumbled on this -- and the rawness of the feelings is something that I just want to share to you. Because it has cut through me like a sharp knife. Someday I wish I could capture these feelings in a literature like this. Enjoy!

xx,

Corporate Junkie

“It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain!I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.”

Written by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

"All I need at the moment is for you to embrace me, a gesture as old as humanity itself, and which means far more than the meeting of two bodies. An embrace means: I don't feel threatened by you; I'm not afraid to be this close; I can relax, feel at home, feel protected and in the presence of someone who understands me. It is said that each time we embrace someone warmly, we gain an extra day of life. So please, embrace me now," I say." - Aleph, Paulo Coelho.

I clearly recall telling someone before -- "All I need is a hug." No words. No drama. Just a plain simple warm hug.

What an amazing feeling it is indeed. In times of jubilation, a hug will suffice. In sorrow, a hug is all you need to show that you sympathize with that person in despair. To reconcile, the best way to show your concession is a warm embrace.

Tonight, I need a hug. Nothing more, nothing less. To ease the burden of a heavy-laden day. To erase bad memories and feelings. And to feel that I am home in the presence of someone who understands me. It's just a bonus that I gain extra 24 hours of my life :)

Let's hug more, everyone!

Goodnight!

XOXO,

Corporate Junkie

Courage

"You will erase everything you had written in the book of your life up until now: restlessness, uncertainty, lies. And in the place of all this, you will write the word courage. By beginning the journey with that word and continuing faith in God, you will arrive wherever you need to arrive."

The future is uncertain. So today, I will cry if I need to cry, get mad when I need to get mad. And sleep with a hope in my heart that tomorrow is still gonna be a good day.

I think that's the most courageous that I could ever get.

xx,

Corporate Junkie

Red Balloon

I just have to share this -- amazing masterpiece! <3

Script by yours truly.

Direction by Paolo Lindaya of Grilled Cheese Studios <www.grilledcheesestudios.weebly.com>

BALOT + EDZEL Save The Date from Grilled Cheese Studios on Vimeo.

Special thanks to --

Tep Lindaya, Bopeep Arcenas & Aby Wei as the girls at the park

Vince Utzurrm as Manong Lobo :)

Paolo Correa - Assistant to the Director :)

One Step At A Time

"When in doubt, do the next right thing. It's usually something quite small." - Life's Little Detours, Regina Brett

I will never be a doormat. This is what I keep on reminding myself. I just know when to act on certain matters. Or so I thought.

I wait for the right time to act on things. Especially when it concerns people. But maybe that is where the problem stems from. On waiting.

Decision. Indecision.

"There is always a right moment to act." - Aleph, Paulo Coelho

The month of March in my Paulo Coelho Day Planner is all dedicated to decision or making decisions, for that matter. Funny because it seems to be a very apt moment for me to be lectured on these things.

I always believe in being at the right moment at the right time and somehow, this is another manifestation of it. In my life, there are decisions that I have been postponing to do. For what reason? I do not know. Maybe because of fear. Fear of regret or fear of not being able to stand by what I have decided upon; or simply because I linger in the idea that

everything works out well in the end anyway and I do not really need to rush anything.

Character

"WHAT you have does not make you. It's WHO you have that matters."

I posted this on Twitter last night after a hearty talk with friends. This has been a long overdue topic running inside my mind like crazy and I am finally setting it off.

I don't have anything against people who love material things. I only have something for people who define their character or judge other people by their status in life, what shoes or bags they have or what-not.

Ugh, I sound demented.

Dreams & Crossroads

I left Bacolod because I wanted to preserve my dream.

There is no doubt that all I want to do in life is to be a marketer. Push me to whichever company but there is nothing that I would want to do but build brands and be able to connect to the consumer. That was just a dream before. A reality now.

It was around SEVEN years ago, a few months after graduation from La Salle Bacolod that I had the opportunity to take a qualifying exam for the JG Summit Management Training Program. Where I am now is a product of my employment by the JG Group. People call it destiny, fate, whatever. In my own simple way, I would like to believe what Coelho believes in -- the world conspiring with what your heart desires.

I desired and prayed -- maybe prayed some more -- for Him to lead me in the path where I could become a very good marketing practitioner. I knew that my dream would not take place in Bacolod or wherever it was in Negros. There were just too little jobs and a few, if none, big companies to practice what I learned in college.

Kuya's at the Fort

There's this great resto near my place which always satisfy my penchant for Filipino food -- Kuya's at the Fort.

Located at Bayani Road, this place has a very accommodating staff and a very cozy ambiance suited for either a quiet dinner or an after-office rendezvous.

Two things will always be on my tab every time I go here --
the yummy twice-cooked pork adobo and the gising-gising. Yum!

This little monster meal explodes with flavor. Unlike your normal pork adobo, the sauce is not mixed with the meat.
The fried pork is already heavenly on its own but putting more sauce makes it even more gastronomic!

Hmm, so there goes my dinner for tonight. If you want to visit this place (two thumbs up!), you can check out their operating hours, address and contact details here.

Ciao!

xx,
Corporate Junkie

I Am Corporate Junkie: Starting All Over Again

Stephen King once wrote, "If you don't have time to read, you don't have the time (or the tools) to write. Simple as that."

I think this is where my inspiration for writing is really coming from. Because I have the insatiable penchant for reading. I jump from one book to another (currently reading Winner Stands Alone, Clash of the Kings and Kafka on the Shore) and hope to finish them if they are good.

Sadly, I have been in and out of my creative wind. I have started writing since I was in grade school and there is always this inexplicably incessant feeling of wanting to put down words again on a piece of paper (or now, in this digital world), through the computer. What for? I do not really know. To voice out your opinion. To share to the world your inner thoughts. Or probably to feel that something matters at a certain point in time.

So please indulge me as I embark again this long-time passion of mine. Or you can always opt to click that X button at the upper right corner of your screen.

xx,

Corporate Junkie